#1 a tired man

12/6/2012

Poem ideas:
Describe a moment of great fatigue, a moment when you were exhausted.
Describe your journey home from school in great detail.
Describe where you go to rest, relax, and recharge after a difficult day.

81 Comments

Halász Sándor

2/11/2013 04:07:39 pm

Let me sleep

I fell asleep at midnight,
But I had a terrible night,
And when I get up in the morning,
I said: no, man, let me sleep!

I came to school with BKV,
I fell asleep, that's why I late,
When the controller came to me,
I said: no, man, let me sleep!

I drunk a coffee in the school,
While I came up to the 3rd floor,
I feel like a man, who smoked weed,
I want just one thing: let me sleep!

Alina Robello

3/17/2013 04:30:41 am

I really liked this poem. I think everyone can relate to having to go to school or work on no sleep and it sucks! So good job.

Drew Genung

3/17/2013 03:38:17 pm

I like how you wrote about your everyday life and how hard life is because as you grow up it starts getting rough.. Keep up the great work

Gergely Szabó

2/13/2013 02:36:34 am

He is overcome with fatigue

When the world is confused
Not because recreational drug use
You see with your eyes
Without anything realize
Uncomfortable visions
Like picking diamonds
Sleep is a double-edged sword
Only the hours of wordlessness
Can help you to solve
The problem of your temporary illness.

10th February (2013)

Rhyme:
(AABBCCDEDE)

Mackenzie Bielen

3/16/2013 09:04:35 am

I really liked this poem. The rhyming pattern you used was well chosen and it flowed really well. A+!

Zackery McMurray

3/16/2013 09:55:20 am

I agree with Max (Mackenzie). This poem was put together very well, and uses a very good rhyming pattern, as well as some great descriptive features.

Dylan Geasland

3/16/2013 09:58:26 am

I thought the poem was well constructed and had a good flow. Keep it up.

Haley MacPhail

3/17/2013 09:06:46 am

I loved this poem. It was a very unique translation, and in my opinion, a great response to the poem. I loved that you mentioned it's an illness that one can get rid of. Did you have a specific purpose to why you responded to the poem in the way you did?

mason hall

3/17/2013 11:49:12 am

i like how this poem was quick and easy but like everyone mentioned it flowed which is the most key thing in a poem. well done

Steve Adams

4/23/2013 02:34:24 am

The rhymes are nice and it shows emotions very well.

Sawyer Ma

4/24/2013 01:59:22 am

I especially like the rhyme, content also.
"sleep is a double-edged sword" thats my favorite one. I can tell

cassie selstrom

4/24/2013 02:13:46 am

I enjoyed reading this poem a lot. I liked the patten and how the poem was nicely put together. It was relateable and easy to follow.

Siklóssy Regina

2/14/2013 03:56:38 am

I'm tired

I'm almost always tired,
esspecially in school.
Getting up at half past five
is just incredibly soon.

Trying to drink some coffee,
but it doesn't always help.
So please just let me sleep,
'cause I'm not feeling well.

kyle fistolera

3/14/2013 02:37:49 pm

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. This will always be with us as we grow up !

Dylan Geasland

3/16/2013 10:04:27 am

I can totally relate to this poem as can most teenagers around the world. I like that you went with a relatable scenario so that people, especially teens, can relate.

Alina Robello

3/17/2013 04:33:17 am

Personally I loved this one. It's simple, yet everyone can relate to it. It's going to be with us forever. Great job.

Jacky Zhang

3/17/2013 05:19:46 am

This poem is so touching and realistic that it can be related to most peers. Though I do not get up that early I still want more time to sleep.

Hannah Robles

3/17/2013 12:11:35 pm

I love this poem because of the simple way it flows. well done.

Cara Huang

3/17/2013 02:48:22 pm

I like your poem. you express your ideas in a simple sentence which I think is pretty good. I believe lots of people would relate to this.

Drew Genung

3/17/2013 03:55:53 pm

Woahh even though this is a short poem it caught my eye because even though you try something it does not always seem to work in this case it is the coffee.. Do you really have to get up at half past five everyday ?

Brandon Bone

3/24/2013 12:32:33 pm

This poem is so true. Having to get up early and at night having to do the homework with caffeine not always working. What do you do at 530am that requires so much time?

Regina

4/16/2013 05:28:46 am

Wow, thanks guys for the many comments, I am very happy you liked it :) I wrote this poem quite spontaneously on a tired morning :D Yes, I really have to get up at half past five, because I live quite far away from school, I have to travel one and a half hour every day :/

Cassie Selstrom

4/24/2013 02:18:00 am

I love this poem! This seriously is the story of my life. It basically describes how i feel at school and my life in the morning. This is very well written and relateable.

Balázs Juhász

2/14/2013 04:04:46 am

A Tired Man

It was a soft and bright Friday, I was going finally home
The sun gently lit my long way, the way I followed in my roam

I was tired, sleepy, knocked out, can’t remember every detail,
Just the smell of drunken truants, slipping eagerly pints of ale

The clock hasn’t struck 3 A.M., but I could’ve slept more than ever
I could feel only my brainstem is what makes me to endeavor

To breathe, to stand, to pulse my blood, to live my tiring, weary life.
And my thougts just began to scud, and spout, and stream, and swirl, and strife.

But thinking made me much more tired, even more than I was before
So I went home uninspired, lay on my bed ’n’ started to snore.

Dylan Geasland

3/16/2013 10:06:49 am

Is this how feel everyday?

Will Kelly

3/17/2013 01:28:09 pm

This Poem is very good and has detail that pulls the reader into the poem. Nicely done!

Bia

2/17/2013 03:24:37 am

Tired men are going to work,
while I'm triing to write a poem.
Thinking about last night dream world
I'm not jealous about them.

Travel by car or tram,
Stay in the traffic jam.
Tired men are going to work.
I'm sure sleeping now is not work.

Jordyn Molina

3/15/2013 01:55:22 am

Does this resemble a certain person you know?

Shannon Foley

3/17/2013 02:48:29 pm

Is this poem written about a parent going working?

Dorka Bánhegyi link

2/17/2013 03:57:50 am

Tired man (an other version)

Some serious pleasent on the fields
Without a word, walking home in the streets
We are lying next to each other: the river and me
Under my heart fersh grass sleeps.

The river is silent, rolling great calmness
The troubles and problems are dewing
I’m not a man or a child, not Hungarian or brother
I’m just a tired man here who’s lying.

The peace is given by the night
I’m a slice of a warm bread
Sky’s also relaxing and the stars
Are sitting on the Maros and on my head.

wrote by:
Dorka Bánhegyi
Réka Tóth
Bálint Bartha
Balázs Laklia

Michael Catelli

3/17/2013 07:41:53 am

I really like the words that were chosen it this poem and how it flows.

Shannon Foley

3/17/2013 02:46:56 pm

I think it’s really cool how your poem was written by four people. It made it sound unique.

Angie

2/17/2013 04:12:00 am

A tired man

In the snow there is a place
which no one would reach,
where no one had raised
it is an empty whole.

In the middle a man lie
he almost breathe
just like I when I'm tired
after a long day.

The man is freezing,
the pain reflect on his face
suddenly his heart stop beating
and the place becomes silent.

Tina Lin

3/16/2013 03:36:40 pm

It's a great poem! Is it related to the song Castle On a Cloud?

Brandon Bone

3/24/2013 12:34:48 pm

I snowboard and when you get cold this is true. What did the man do to try to survive?

Kasperkievicz Bence

2/17/2013 05:01:43 am

A tired man

On the lands some serious peasants,
who go home noise without
We lay together, me and the river.
Light weed sleeps under my heart.

The river rolls big, silent calm.
The worry and load became dewfall
Neither man, child, Hungarian, brother.
Only a tired man who lies thats all.

Tranquality is devided by the night.
I am a silence of a warm bread.
The sky respires, starts sit out
to the calm Maros and my forehead.

By : Fehér bogi
Me
Rétsghy Márk
Gyomlai Imre

Márk

2/25/2013 03:52:02 am

*Rétsághy Márk.:D

Juli

2/17/2013 06:07:43 am

A tired student

In the school some solemn students,
going from class to class.
As a group they're trying to alive the lessons,
with more or less success.

The break comes, and the whole school rise again,
but it doesn't take long.
15 minutes and the school is dead.
That's the life of a tired student.

Michael Clark

3/17/2013 09:28:59 am

I really like this poem because i can relate to it, at break and lunch I am very happy but once class starts my mood changes.

Megan M McConnell

4/11/2013 03:18:03 pm

How many hours a day do you have to go to school?

Janka

2/18/2013 12:26:46 am

A tired bird

In the forest some solemn birds,
going from tree to tree.
As a small animal, trying to stay alive,
but sometimes it doesn't succeed.

Danger is all around, and the birds are afraid.
They always have to be careful,
otherwise they will die.
That's the fortune of a tired bird.

Jacky Zhang

3/17/2013 05:26:13 am

I really love the rhymes in your poem such as succeed, afraid, bird. The poem depicts the peril surroundings where birds live miserably.

Áron Marsiczki

2/18/2013 03:16:26 am

Midnight thoughts

Unfortunately I am tired a bit
Because I have to admit
That i still have to write five lines
Before I can give myself to the night

My poem is not too good
As it could be if I would
I guess the previous line ha bad grammar
But at the moment it doesn't matter.

Michael Catelli

3/17/2013 07:44:26 am

I like how you made this poem humoress.

Flora Al-Farman

2/18/2013 03:44:10 am

A tired Monday morning

Waking up on Monday morning,
I'd literally rather die,
The hardest thing is to stop yawning,
But I swear I always try.

Five more days 'till TGIF,
But now I wanna dream and sleep,
I've no idea how to fight that,
How to get up on my feet.

Alina Robello

3/17/2013 04:39:08 am

Is this something you can relate to weekly? The counting down days till Friday. Or was it more geared for a universal idea that you may or may not relate to on a regular basis?

Flora

4/23/2013 03:43:28 am

Its not regular, but in the moment of writing the poemI felt this way :D

Hannah Robles

3/17/2013 12:09:39 pm

I really like this poem because it is easy to relate to. I know everyone is always eager for the week to end.

Flora

4/23/2013 03:46:15 am

Thank you for your comment, I wrote this because I thought this is the kind of feeling that everyone has sometimes.

Simon

2/19/2013 05:27:33 am

Waking up in a room
not knowing how or why i got there
It's 7 am Some of my friends are still drunk.

Next thing i'm in the bathroom,
gulping water in. I can feel my
stomach full, but am still dying of thirst

Hours later, I'm home. tea.earl grey
a lit. The lemon juice helps with the hangover
I fell asleep on the bus three times. I don't know why am i not in bed

kyle fistolera

3/14/2013 02:40:45 pm

Does lemon juice actually get you sober? Some days, your gonna wake up and not know what the hell happened the previous day

mason hall

3/17/2013 11:47:35 am

what made you describe a drunk memory in a poem? did u get drunk the night before your wrote this?

Nikol, Adam, Angie, Adrienn

2/19/2013 08:51:23 pm

A tired man (an other version)

There are some serious peasant in the fields,
Who silently going home far.
We lie next to each other, the river and I,
Soft herbs are sleeping belong my heart.

The river is quiet, it rolls tranquility,
My problems and duty become near:
I'm not a man, or child, or Hungarian, or brother,
Just a tired man, who lies here.

The night spreads the peace,
I am a small piece of warm bread.
The sky rests too on the river Maros,
Stars are sitting on my head.

Nikol

2/20/2013 04:32:28 am

The Tired Carousel

Everybody can just love him,
His job is to walk around,
He can make everybody smile,
He is the merry-go-round.

He can't stop when he want,
He has got only one saver,
The rain.snow and mist,
In combined name: weather.

When everybody go home,
He stays, only himself,
He can relax a little,
The tired carousel.

Shelby Link

3/17/2013 02:30:39 pm

I really like how it can be described as a persons life too. A very well done poem. I don't think many people would think like you did when writing it.

Petra Pálinkó

2/22/2013 10:23:04 pm

When I open my eyes, I see
the pictures on my wall are watching me
I’d like to say something to them
But my lips stay closed,
and I fall asleep again.

kyle fistolera

3/14/2013 02:42:35 pm

Not sure if thats real or a dream of some sort?

Dylan Geasland

3/16/2013 10:10:50 am

Have you really had this happen to you?

Alina Robello

3/17/2013 04:36:13 am

Was the feeling behind this the fact that the person is so tired they are hallucinating? Or was it that they were dreaming?

Emese Berta

2/24/2013 04:58:30 am

Exhaustion

Exhaustion is a feeling I can't describe
When fatigue overcomes me
I can't do anything but lying aside

Better for you, not talking to me
When I'm exhausted
Probably, I'm not the best company

Whatever you do I don't give a damn
Do what pleases you
Just please, let me be a resting woman

Shelby Link

3/17/2013 02:32:55 pm

I really enjoyed this poem, not only because it is completely true but it lets many know that when a woman is tired let her be. Good job!

Erika Kispál

2/24/2013 05:08:18 am

A tired house

Every day when I just go home,
I can see a time-worn house alone.
Yes, certainly it's hoary an shabby
But for my hearth it's fancy.

The windows wink slowly and sleepily,
It's pajamas is now really raunchy.
I front towards the house and it looks me,
Softly, it has collapsed than fallen asleep.

Imre

2/24/2013 07:00:30 pm

A tired winter night

I'm lying on my bed
In a quiet winter night
Watching the dark gloomy lamp
And the snowflakes in the streetlight

I don't want to fall asleep
That's my fight in the mind
But I'm already dreaming
About the city all the way white

Karolina

2/25/2013 05:31:50 am

A tired fish

Once upon a time there was a fish,
He prayed all the time just like a jewish.
One day he decided he'd swim a lot,
All the way to Australia and back around.

After he took that long way,
He thought he should go to sleep like he doesn't care.
So he slept through his life,
Because he was lazy and had no time.

Bence Szilasi

2/25/2013 07:21:06 am

A tired man

A man is walking on the road,
Who is absolutely alone.
His eyes are glowing like a star,
But his dreams are falling apart.

He has been fighting for his dreams,
His life was filled with bloody tears.
His iron will has been broken,
And all of his hope was stolen.

Waves are crashing above his head,
He has no hope, just go ahead.
There is a place in the distance,
That is the end of existence.

Tina Lin

3/16/2013 03:43:45 pm

This poem really rhymes!

Lili

2/26/2013 04:47:32 am

The Tired Rental Bike

There's a discreet slot on the side of the road.
It's not worth a double take- not to you or Kyle:
It's me who relies on the sound of the noise,
The noise of those coins falling down.

Into the rusty box they go.

So: I'm out of the chains but it comes with a price
I do what I'm told, can't disobey now
Just that my wheels can't keep up, they have given out
And still: my vessel's being used, and still: I dissipate.

3/3/2013 03:57:43 am

A tired heart

I've thought about you a lot,
but you couldn't know these things,
because I was afraid to show
my feelings.

I don't know why you are blue.
We're just sitting in silence,
it will be hard to carry through,
this beautiful acquaintance.

Sometimes you were so weird,
but I know, you can be crazy.
My memories are almost disappeard.
I'm trying to think about it, but it's hazy.

You didn't know who really I am,
but now, you should understand.
Firstly it was hard to believe,
but now I'm happy 'cause I'm free.

Shelby Link

3/17/2013 02:36:32 pm

Have you been through something like this? I can personally relate to this. I absolutely love it, thanks for sharing.

Fruzsi

3/4/2013 07:04:30 am

I'm as tired as my classmates on a Monday morning
I'm as tired as my classmates on a Tuesday morning
I'm as tired as my classmates on a Wednesday morning
I'm as tired as my classmates on a Thursday morning
I'm as tired as my classmates on a Friday morning
I'm tired, my classmates are probably sleeping on this Saturday morning
I'm as tired on a Sunday morning as I was on the previous Sunday morning

Kyle Fistolera

3/14/2013 02:45:07 pm

You must not sleep!

Gabe Seely

3/15/2013 03:15:42 am

School wears everyone out. I know how you feel!

Shannon Foley

3/17/2013 02:39:41 pm

I really like your poem, I think pretty much any high school student can relate to always being so tired.

Pataki Barbi

3/4/2013 11:37:57 pm

This is a tired day, everythig's so slow
It's all like a DVD, played in slow Slo-Mo
Bad things last so long, it's like a century
Good things don't want to come, but they could hurry.
You may say, it's me who's tired, not the day,
But I don't think that only I see it gray.
I want to go to bed and stay there all day
This is a tired day, there's nothing to say.

Michael Catelli

3/17/2013 07:47:01 am

What movie were you thinking of?

Tina Lin

3/17/2013 03:45:11 pm

I like this part "You may say, it's me who's tired, not the day, " Is it related to your daily life?

Mason Hall

3/17/2013 11:40:00 am

i liked this poem alot, its a very peaceful and realxing poem.

Lucas Ferrari

3/17/2013 02:23:40 pm

I like how the poem lets you think of how much happens each day and how tired we are.

Megan Ryan

3/17/2013 02:45:41 pm

I really like the poem.. i think it relates to all of us who work hard and feel tired because of it

Geno Smith

3/21/2013 10:27:35 am

I really enjoyed this poem I think anyone can relate to this

Brandon Bone

3/24/2013 12:26:41 pm

I like how this poem is simple yet is able to get across a strong point.

#1 a tired man

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